You know, I look at the stressed, tormented look on most of your faces, and I remember it all so well. Yes, when I first started out as an entrepreneur, I too had that same haunted – and, let’s face it, unfunded – look for at least two, maybe even three days. It was a living hell, a nightmare that had no end… until, that is, I found my amazing entrepreneurial success mojo.
That is what I want to share with you tonight. And frankly, compared to my $1495 per hour private entrepreneurship mentoring services, the £249 you’ve paid to attend this evening is nothing less than a downright steal for the intensely focused information each and every one of you will download into your grimly aspiring startup brains.
Yes, you may have walked in here as a rag-tag bunch of nontrepreneurs, but I personally guarantee you will stride out of here with the total confidence and insane clarity that made me and my peers – Branson, Jobs, Dyson – nothing less than unstoppable business dynamos. Monetizing will move from being a buzzword in your presentations to an entire way of life.
All the same, people often ask me what gave me my first big break in business – my $11.5m trust fund, my Harvard MBA, my billionaire father’s Rolodex, or perhaps my honorary membership of Yale’s Skull & Bones Society? Actually, it was none of the above.
My first fortune came about because I despised my uncle Max so much: it’s not that he’s a rich sleazeball, it’s just that he’s never even had the decency to try and hide it. So, when he lost $750,000 investing into a fake hedge fund, I was filled with shining admiration… for the guy who ripped him off. In short, I wanted to be that hustler. (Well, apart from the bit where Max had him garotted in an alleyway in Reno in 2008, that is.)
Very quickly, I realised that this meant one simple thing: that I had to be an entrepreneur. More specifically, I had to be the kind of entrepreneur that is looking out for rich foolish marks and selling them the biggest-budget fool’s gold ever invented – yes, I had to be a tech entrepreneur. That was the career path that beckoned – and it proved to be the start of everything good that has happened to me since.
My message to you this evening is therefore loud, clear and palpably in your face: that the glorious, pampered, self-indulgent life I’ve enjoyed as a successsful top-tier tech entrepreneur is yours for the taking. All you have to do is get with the programme – and I’m here to show you how…
[…to be continued…]