1. You found a business plan checklist on a celebrity VC blogger’s site, and followed it right to the letter.
- Wrong! VCs almost never invest in startups, so why on earth are you taking their stupid advice?
2. Your plan does exactly what Steve Jobs / Mark Zuckerberg / Alan Sugar / Anita Roddick / etc etc said in his/her book.
- Wrong! Most super-rich people got there in spite of what they did to get there, not because of it.
3. You’ve got an MBA.
- Wrong! Make money consulting for clients who have money and no brains, not for entrepreneurs with brains and no money.
4. The plan sells your business on its rational merits and a modest growth projection.
- Wrong! People will only back your plan if they think it’ll make them stupendously rich, despite all your flaws.
5. It’s a bit of an unsexy industry, but the figures are terrifically strong.
- Wrong! The cocktail party test = “Hey, Steve, what’s that company you’ve just invested in?”, “Oh, it’s a bit dull but…”
6. We have two patent applications pending, and a really strong IP angle going forward.
- Wrong! Patents scare the pants off most investors, who worry they will drain the coffers dry before you’ve sold a thing.
7. Though I’m a solo entrepreneur, I have deep experience & a fantastic industry network.
- Wrong! Angels worry that you’ll turn out to be a deluded nutter from an episode of Dragon’s Den they missed
8. I have a fantastic Advisory Board, including a former government minister & a retired general.
- Wrong! You gave away points in your business to know-nothing idiots like that? What were you thinking?
9. I follow Lean Startup principles religiously.
- Wrong! You’ll obviously believe any fairy-dust solution that drops in your virtual in-tray. Get real, OK?
10. I wrote it with the help of several mentors and a professional business plan writer.
- Wrong! You’re so anxious to hand your cash to startup parasites that none if it will go towards actually making money.